What I’m Reading…

The Power of Now

by Eckhart Tolle

Okay, so I’ve actually ‘read’ this book before. I say that, but I don’t think I got past the first couple of sections. It kind of blew my mind, and then I wasn’t sure how to move forward from that point.

I’d bought the book way back when I was living on my own after the breakdown of a bad relationship. I was like a self-help seeking missile that year. I read so many books, articles, and online courses, trying to find truth that resonated with my situation. When I came across ‘The Power of Now’, and Tolle asserted on the first page that he had little use for the past, it kind of freaked me out. How would I define myself if not by my past? I read a few more sections in, but quickly realised that although I recognised many of his words as truth, I wasn’t ready to leap off the cliff just yet.

Fast forward a few years, and this is one book that has consistently made the cut as I’ve moved house 8 times in the past 11 years. Finally, this year was the first time I had felt ready to open it and start again.

This book has not disappointed me. It is so frank, and unapologetically challenging, that I cannot help but sit and ponder at the points where Tolle suggests I should. Normally I ignore such edicts and just push on, but here I am savouring each section like a fine wine. Pushing it round my mind, and rolling it over section by section to find every last flavour it offers up.

This time I’ve made it all the way up to ‘The Inner Body’ before coming to a halt. Something about the previous chapter ‘The State of Presence’ has rattled my cage, and I’m working with God to iron it out. I feel like I’m standing on the edge of the cliff again. I’m aware of the life that Tolle offers up, but my ego is terrified of the ramifications. What would life be like? How will I relate to people if I operate from a fully awakened presence? Why is this so terrifying?!

I take these questions to God one-by-one, and He has been gracious with me. He has given me a vision to work with, and I use that arena to present my questions, and sit quietly with them. I am content to sit with a feeling of open space in my chest and allow the Holy Spirit to move at will and bring forth what needs to be uplifted in this process. I find with time, and silence, and openness that eventually the parts of my ego that are hurting come forth and dissolve in the grace of God.

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